Merry Christmas, for those of you who observe such.

Everybody else, TGIF!

No man is an island. . .
Unless he's fording a flooded road.

Be very careful out there this weekend.

A new benchmark for failure has been set. Wife (or whatever)-beating scrap of excrement is arrested on a bench warrant at the hospital where the fuel filler pipe had to be removed from his hand!
This is why Bond villains are so ridiculous-real criminals are stupid.
Homer, are you still holding on to the can?

No bias here. Move along.

Heh, heh, heh.

Monorail breakdown. Got a harness, descender and some 5mm rope on ya'? 'Cause you don't just walk away from an elevated monorail.
From the story: "Officials said a possible mechanical problem caused the stoppage." Good to have THAT cleared up. Y'all sure it wasn't telekinesis?

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE 
Not goin'.
Can't make me.

Wow. Managed to miss September completely. Temporary promotion outside my career track.
G'on over to Tam's place for some historical perspective.

In case you needed a reminder that cities suck, this story. The guy made it through New York City fergawdsake, but not Philly. Looks like a couple of guys were up to no good. . .

For U. S. readers; Happy Independence Day, y'all.
Everybody else have a good weekend.

With my right hand to God, I think I just heard someone say that their charity's domain was "dolphinproject.net".  While I respect the work you're doin', that really was tasteless.

IMAX doesn't want you calling anything that's not IMAX, IMAX. Only they get to do that.

Am I alone in thinking that this was inevitable?
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

This story is full of fail, but I have to ask: What sort of 'supervised release' allowed this career felon to get his hands on a firearm? Note that these events took place in California, which is 'bout the hardest place in the U. S. to legally acquire firearms.

Gang shoot-out in Waco.
Waco, famous for. . . not much.
If it can happen here, it can happen anywhere.
What's your get-home plan?

Seems obvious. 
When you need professional soldiers, hire 'em.

ON THE FIRST DATE? 

Where are they gettin' the. . . material?

Wow. Just. . . wow. I can't say I like the guy, but he's serious about the future.

Ugh. Food poisoning. I don't recommend it.
In lighter news, everything is in bloom, and the Bluebonnets are stunning.

Two more weeks of two jobs.
The rumors of my demise have been slightly exaggerated.

Duh. Everybody know that however many Peeps you stack, at least four were eaten by the kids.
Happy Easter, if you're Christian.
Chag Sameach, if you're Jewish.
Pleasant Sunday, for all y'all.

Wow, two jobs.
So, the lady of the house has The Dog (TM) in her lap-he likes to sniff her to check her blood sugar-and she complains that his breath is particularly awful. I asked if she could use a laser projection system to give me a visual representation of just how bad. When she asked why, I replied "Super-holographic Extreme-halitosis." With a lap full of dog, she couldn't chase me.

Look, folks, anything with people in it is gonna' have idiots, and the sensationalist 'news' industry will make those idiots 15 minute wonders. Use your head before you judge.

What's your get-home plan?
Boston to Myrtle Beach is about the same distance as Beaumont to El Paso. You could find yourself stranded at any time. Consider how you'd finish your journey.

From Daniel Estrin, via Yahoo News, "Israeli liberals woke up after national elections with a demoralizing feeling: Most of the country, in a deep and possibly irreversible way, does not think like they do."
Here's the thing, liberals: outside of the 12 people you interact with all day every day, nobody thinks like you do. Your nation and people are under threat of annihilation, and your government has had every peace overture rejected; what do you think your enemies want?
The article also highlights the true attitude of leftists, who claim to be inclusive, toward anyone (especially when they're right) who dares disagree with them- "Drink cyanide, bloody Neanderthals. You won." Stay classy, smelly hippies. The adults will continue to keep civilization runnin' for ya'.

WOW.
I've always said that the reason I don't routinely use the metric system is the units are useless, but this article really explains it.

Huge news for our friends in the northeast U. S.-2014 was the warmest year on record. Of course, that's only for Siberia and Nevada climates-everyone else just had weather.
What are these people tryin'a sell me?

HOLY MISTRESS OF SNARK!
I wish I'd thought of that.
The best I'd come up with was blamin' it on the Roomba.

Article II, clause 2, says that the President makes treaties with the advice and consent of the Senate, providing two-thirds thereof concur. So, the Senate telling a hostile foreign power that the illegal deal the President is tryin'a make won't be honored is treason? What the hell is wrong with some people?

I checked the numbers, and Iran has no uranium reserves. That means that the number of centrifuges Iran needs for peaceful purposes is not 'as many as 190,000 or more', it's zero. If Iran wants to generate electricity, let 'em buy fuel rods from Australia. The only reason they'd want centrifuges is to try'n extract weapons-grade fissiles.

A Portsmouth, NC police car catches fire in front of Dunkin Donuts. Sometimes, the jokes make themselves.

Happy Pi Day, everyone!

Happy Friday the Thirteenth!
For the second time this year.
Weird year continues.

So, when I point out that this is a terrible winter, I'm confusing weather with climate.
When someone else points out that some spot out in the western Pacific is warmer than last year, that's 'anthropogenic climate change'?
What are they tryin'a sell?

Wow.
First I find out about Jimmy Greenspoon, and then Terry Pratchett. You talented people out there be super duper extra careful, in case it really runs in threes.

After perfecting the unified field theory and developing a reactionless faster-than-light drive, researchers found time to aim a PEPT at a dishwasher. Really, nobody with any useful work to do needed that machine?

A quick note to all our beloved E. R. staff: the weather here was so nasty last week the drug-seekers stayed home. This may be a sign of the end of days.

Things you don't see in Texas very often:

Did I just hear "Eminence Front" used in a GMC ad?

Political word for the day:
Polaroids n. Irritating rectal lesions that twitch either left or right when stimulated.

Stipulating that the only way I want to hear about an Iranian nuke program is in a sentence including the word "annihilated" (and maybe "daring I. D. F. operation"); where did Secretary Kerry go to school that allows him to think that "as many" belongs in the same sentence as "or more"?

I told y'all handgun cartridges are all pretty much the same. Here's the numbers:
.45 ACP    370 ft/lbs
9 mm        421 ft/lbs
.40 S&W  375 ft/lbs
.39 Spec   349 ft/lbs
There's only so much a handgun can do. There isn't very much energy in the case, and the weapon is supposed to be operable one-handed. That's why the common self-defense rounds are about 3/8-7/16 inches in diameter, and deliver half the energy of the .30 Carbine, a "rifle" that's hardly worth carrying.

The weird year continues. In the past week, there've been two house fires within a quarter-mile of here.Whatever y'all are burnin' to stay warm, be careful with it. More cold comin' mid-week.

Now we know why the old 'armor-piercing handgun ammunition' legislation is being dusted off.
Handy distraction. Now a revenue agency-not a law enforcement one-can charge you with a crime and steal your stuff, without due process or even charges. Contact your representatives. It's time for this agency to be reformed.

Walkin' the dog and saw this:

Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait five minutes. . . and duck.

I always tell people that confidence is more important than any features of their weapon. As an example, there's Mordechai Rahamim. A paratrooper selected for airline security duty, his aircraft was attacked by four terrorists 2/18/69. Rahamim leaped from the airliner, engaged the terrorists-who were using AKs, grenades, and leaflets (terrs-what are ya' gonna' do?). Using his Beretta .22, Rahamim suppressed the terrorists, killing one, then engaged them hand-to-hand and made a sincere effort to throttle one. Local security forces intervened at that point.
The details of tactics and equipment are less important than training and confidence.

Since Girl Scouts was founded here, shouldn't those cookies be called 'American Somoas'?

I'm not gonna' go on about it, but I have to ask; What kinda' P. T. S. D. is a 2111 supposed to get?

Had to get out my pac boots yesterday, snow tonight. Everybody bundle up warm and stay safe.
Hey, why is called "tax season" when we're the prey?

So, the day manager at the Quik-E-Mart knows that I know a bit about firearms, and was worried about Texas' campus carry bill, and asked me about it. I explained that for the last 30 years, any attempt to restore the right of self-defense to the people has been greeted with promises of blood on the streets-never delivered. Tryin'a make the point, I said that the kind of people you wanted carrin' guns were the same kind of people who would be serious 'bout doin' so. On the other hand, the dude-jocks you wouldn't want havin' firearms were not likely to drop a coupl'a months beer budget on a pistol, and couldn't be bothered to carry two pounds o' steel around anyway-hell, most of 'em can't be bothered to carry a pencil.

We are blessed to live in an age where intelligent, articulate people can spread their message far and wide. So go, read. She says it better than I can.

Visiting with a somewhat liberal acquaintance of mine over coffee, while he was grumbling about the current budget hoopla. He is coming to the realization that political debate closely resembles two five-year-olds screaming 'nuh-uh' at each other. I said "Look, President Obama is a genius, he went to Harvard. President Bush was a moron, he went to. . . Harvard. I'M ASSURED THERE'S A DIFFERENCE!"

I'm afraid that coffee may've shot outta' the ears of the fella sittin' behind us.

Yeah, I'm goin'ta Hell, but it'll be fun.

Since I can't hit 'em (court order) when a public school administrator says a kid is autistic or ADHD, is it permissible to ask 'em when they went to med school, and if they'd agree that the time they spent there would've been better spent trying to become better educators?

Biscuits and gravy for breakfast. All is well.

Weird year. Saw a bunch of vintage 'Vettes, a whole bunch of bikes, and the highway dept. spraying deicer today. Bundle up warm, folks.

It's shapin' up to be a weird year. Last month I got to say "I'm not a musician, I'm a guitarist!" This month I got to use my favorite analogy to explain the difference between millions and billions, and next month is pi day. April oughtta' be wild.

Just heard that a lady from Siberia froze to death while hiking in New Hampshire. Y'all be careful out there, there's worse comin'.
Things are crazy around here, too, but it's more stress, I think. Just last week I was standin' at the bus stop, mindin' my own business, when this guy comes up and asks "Hey, do you know what time it is?"
I looked at my watch, said "Yessir, I do," and got on my bus.
Last I saw of that feller, he was standin' in the middle of the street shakin' his fist.
Crazy out there.

So, the lady of the house is working a jigsaw puzzle on her Improved Personal Amusement Device (that's what it means, right?), and complained that the last piece wouldn't stick. Being a smart a. . .lec, I promptly announced "I'm on it," licked my thumb and poked the screen with my finger.

It worked.

If my body don't turn up in a few days, well, that's probably best. Tell my mother I loved her.

Hey, kids! Activity time! How many things can you find wrong in this story?
If you answered "most of it", you win the internet for today!

While I always enjoy the bleating about the supposed superiority of the M1E6 rifle (often erroneously referred to as the M14-why a failed P. I. P. justified a new designation is beyond me) every time I refer to the direct-impingement AR as near perfect (gas pistons are anathema to the faithful!), some people may not know the reason. The AR, as designed, uses a small volume of propellant gas to push on a key attached to the bolt carrier, driving the carrier back against the buffer spring to cycle the action. Most other self cycling rifles use a bit of gas to shove a piston against an operating road to push the bolt. ARs can be readily modified, adding a piston and op rod, adding parts and making the system more complex. In what way could this be useful?

First, it is theoretically cleaner. The propellant gas used to drive the action is blown into the magazine/chamber area, and contains carbon, commonly called fouling. A gas piston conversion traps the fouling ahead of the piston, meaning the cleaning process adds a step. The chamber area should always be cleaned on any rifle, with a piston the gas trap area must be cleaned as well.
Second, it is theoretically cooler. Without hot gas being blown into the chamber area, the chamber doesn't heat-saturate as quickly. This means that the rifle can have more rounds run through it, faster, before cooking off.

Note that both of these advantages are theoretical. It take hundreds of rounds (thousands, in some cases) to foul a D. I. AR enough to stop it running, especially if it's lubricated well. If you refuse to clean a rifle, please don't shoot it. It pains me to see good machinery abused. If you have a select-fire AR, too much money, and little sense, it is possible to run it hard enough to overheat. It takes about 10 mag dumps, with fast reloads, to do it, though. If you can afford to dump 300 rounds, in less that a minute, without hitting anything smaller than this planet, don't do it-take a new shooter out teach 'em.

So, if you keep your AR clean (please!), and don't use it as a S. A. W. (it's not designed for it), you don't need a gas piston. If you still want one, go ahead, but mere personal preference does not equate design superiority.

THERE'S A "COMPLAINTS" BUTTON! Right here where I type these drippings up. Here goes: I'm not overly fond of the weather right now, and I'm not sure the climate's entirely agreeable, either. What other planets ya' got?

Whadda' mean, "no space program"?

Aw, hell.

Put down that stopwatch.

I said I'd be here.

Hey, does anybody still else still get a kick out of referin' to events of their youth as the "20th century"?

No?

Well, we all knew I was a little weird.

By the way, what ever happened to them Articles of Confederation, anyways? That seemed fairly benign.

What?

Oh.

Since we can't play nice, this is the gubbmint we deserve?

Gone drinkin' Back in five minutes.

Tam of View From The Porch corrected me. The "armor piercing handgun ammunition" legislation is from 1986. As stated, without a dog in that fight, I never learned all the details of which, why, and wherefore in that mess. I remain adamant, however, that a federal agency that is actively avoiding doing it's work needs some guidance. Therefore, go forth.

In related news, people are asking me how to tell when newscasters are lyin'. Shouldn't we work out a system to alert us if they ever tell the truth?
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Maybe twice on Saturday.

Folk around here have been askin', so I'll try to explain. I don't really have a dog in this fight, but here's the best I can do.

The B. A. T. F. E. is makin' noises about bannin' M855 ammo because it's "armor piercing handgun ammunition". A history lesson is in order-back in the first third of the 20th century, there was a combination of widespread economic depression and a social engineering experiment called prohibition. These factors, along with the then-recent ubiquity of automobiles led to some pretty serious crime. Basically, prohibition made organized crime very profitable, and the depression made bank robbery attractive. Federal authorities stepped in to try to restore order, and some agents wore the overlapping-scale body armor of the time. The most notoriously violent criminals of the period changed weapons to defeat the armor (in the ages-old battle between armor and warhead, warhead always wins), and laws were drafted to ban "armor piercing handgun ammunition", just in case. Physics demands that for a handgun projectile to have any armor defeating ability, the projectile must be shaped like a needle (the available energy can't be increased without damaging the weapon or shooter), and those projectiles don't cycle or fly very well. Unfortunately, the old law is still on the books, and occasionally gets misapplied (remember Teflon coated bullets? not armor piercing), as now.

While I'm not advocating that true armor piercing handgun ammo should be available (our brave peace officers should be allowed that protection), there are NO handguns (designed to be operated with one hand) that chamber the M855 load. There are some bastardized mare's leg things that fall into an arbitrary category called "handgun" due to some legal fiction, but they are no real threat. "No real threat?" you roar, incredulously. "How can a compact weapon launching rifle founds be 'no real threat'?" Physics, again. To get all the energy available in a rifle cartridge, all the powder must be burnt. For all the powder to be burnt, the barrel must be of some minimum length, otherwise the powder burns in the atmosphere after the bullet is gone, and that energy is wasted. "Handguns" that fire rifle cartridges are too big to readily carry or conceal, but can't deliver the potential energy of the cartridge; thus, no threat.

So, why is this old statute being dusted off now, after the M855 was specifically exempt for so long? I don't know, but consider this. Historians don't really have anything to do. History happened, was recorded, and is. Historians must, from time to time, "reinterpret" the historical record in order to justify their jobs. If the agency tasked with collecting the excise tax on firearms and ammunition, keeping records of the manufacturers and buyers of same, and collecting the excise taxes on alcohol and tobacco and keeping records of the producers of same, and providing investigative support in events involving explosives has nothing better to do than justify it's budget, something must be done.

Perhaps that agency should become more involved in educating citizens in the safe use of explosives, providing a public service by reducing injuries. Or even helping the national budget by getting off their collective duff and approving applications for sound suppressors, and collecting the tax on same (for only a $200 fee, you can reassure your neighbors that you are not a criminal, and protect your [and everyone's] hearing, but it takes a year to pay for the privilege of being a good citizen).

What can we do? Maybe go here. Please take minute and read Tam's advice first. Contact your elected representatives and point out that this agency is not only trying to misapply statutes to justify it's budget, while actively avoiding doing it's revenue-generating job, but is trying to reduce revenue in the process. If they don't want to work, maybe we need to stop payin' 'em.

In the interests of full disclosure, I prefer the older M193 load anyway, but I stand with my friends who like the M855, and you should too.

Happy V. D., y'all.

O. K.
Everybody around here asks me, so here's the standard script.
Somebody: "What gun should I get?"
Me: "What do you want to do with it?"
Somebody: ". . . "
Me: Sigh. "Point defense? Hunting? Benchrest? What?"
Somebody: "Oh! Self defense and stuff."
Me: "Good. Start with a handgun. Here are the steps, in order;"
"1. Go somewhere with a lot of handguns on display,"
"2. Handle a bunch of 'em and find one or a few that feel good in your hand, and make a list,"
"3. Find a range that rents some or all of the guns on your list, and shoot 'em. Any you don't like, cross off the list. Now you have a short list to consider."
"4. Can you afford the one you really like, along with enough fodder and feeding devices, holsters, security, cleaning stuff, etc. to keep, carry, and practice with it safely? How about two?"
"5. Get a few hundred rounds of cheap plinking ammo, and go practice, every week. There are some good schools out there, think about going to one. Learn and live the four rules."
Somebody: "What caliber should I get?"
Me: "Whatever chambers in the frame that fits you. 9mm/.38 spec. up to .45/.44 spec. all have very similar ballistics. Caliber is not as important as confidence."
Somebody: "The internet said. . ."
Me: "There are way more people on the internet than there are knowledgeable firearms enthusiasts. Some are just repeating misinformation, some have an axe to grind, and some are just liars. Hell, I'm on the internet, and you know what a troublemaker I am."
Somebody: "That's a lot of trouble. Is there an easier way?"
Me: Sigh. "There is a shortcut. Just buy a Glock 19 or 26 and practice."
Somebody: "But you carry a .45!"
Me: Walking away sadly, "Mumble, mumble mumbleing, MUMBLE MUMBLERS!"

Sorry for the long delay, folks-I'm still figuring this stuff out. Hope the new year finds you well.
For your daily dose of surrealism, what kind of mean-spirited individual put a sibilant in the word lisp?